








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3923 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,042,708 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LAHNA JEESUS | 56% | 117 |
| #2 | Repo | 55% | 305 |
| #3 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 55% | 282 |
| #4 | kala42 | 53% | 344 |
| #5 | Therroth | 52% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Repo | 55% | 305 |
| #3 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 55% | 282 |
| #4 | kala42 | 53% | 344 |
| #5 | Therroth | 52% | 311 |
| #6 | ilmzor | 41% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Therroth | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Repo | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | LAHNA JEESUS | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | 1140 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 980 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #3 | Repo | 952 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #4 | Therroth | 616 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | LAHNA JEESUS | 239 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | +3.28 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | Repo | +0.99 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | Ilectuz | -0.56 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | mamelukkikalapuikko | -0.75 | 46 | 72 |
| #5 | Therroth | -1.29 | 50 | 54 |





