








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 276 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4576 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3701 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5138 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3770 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,089,748 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repo | 56% | 340 |
| #2 | LAHNA JEESUS | 55% | 146 |
| #3 | Ilectuz | 55% | 282 |
| #4 | kala42 | 53% | 387 |
| #5 | Therroth | 52% | 345 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | LAHNA JEESUS | 55% | 146 |
| #3 | Ilectuz | 55% | 282 |
| #4 | kala42 | 53% | 387 |
| #5 | Therroth | 52% | 345 |
| #6 | ilmzor | 50% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Therroth | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Repo | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | kala42 | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | LAHNA JEESUS | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ilectuz | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | 1293 | 0.16 | 36 min |
| #2 | Repo | 1011 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #3 | Therroth | 620 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | LAHNA JEESUS | 326 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ilectuz | 259 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | +3.06 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | Repo | +1.13 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | mamelukkikalapuikko | -0.50 | 48 | 70 |
| #4 | Ilectuz | -0.53 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | LAHNA JEESUS | -1.13 | 60 | 42 |





