








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1177 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 23% |
| Smokes | 879 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 880 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,741 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 50% | 107 |
| #2 | Repo | 49% | 112 |
| #3 | Therroth | 45% | 122 |
| #4 | kala42 | 44% | 141 |
| #5 | Ilectuz | 41% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Repo | 49% | 112 |
| #3 | Therroth | 45% | 122 |
| #4 | kala42 | 44% | 141 |
| #5 | Ilectuz | 41% | 91 |
| #6 | LAHNA JEESUS | 29% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Ilectuz | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | LAHNA JEESUS | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | 516 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | mamelukkikalapuikko | 432 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #3 | Repo | 311 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | Therroth | 243 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ilectuz | 128 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kala42 | +3.22 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Repo | +0.63 | 63 | 60 |
| #3 | mamelukkikalapuikko | -0.52 | 49 | 76 |
| #4 | Ilectuz | -0.91 | 58 | 60 |
| #5 | Therroth | -1.21 | 50 | 53 |





