








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 639 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4682 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2707 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1187 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1316 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1858 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,561,101 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loversGonnalove | 57% | 81 |
| #2 | KLOSE | 55% | 147 |
| #3 | R0AMZKi | 54% | 182 |
| #4 | bo0seurs | 51% | 172 |
| #5 | Mr. Chillington | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bo0seurs | 23 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | R0AMZKi | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | KLOSE | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | loversGonnalove | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Ibox | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLOSE | 549 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | R0AMZKi | 354 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | bo0seurs | 320 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #4 | loversGonnalove | 196 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ibox | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R0AMZKi | +1.20 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | loversGonnalove | +0.70 | 60 | 66 |
| #3 | KLOSE | +0.65 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | bo0seurs | +0.41 | 80 | 52 |
| #5 | Mr. Chillington | -0.13 | 79 | 40 |





