








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,097 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2599 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3060 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1623 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2815 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,494 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bogan | 60% | 111 |
| #6 | DI5TRICT (Mightyena) | 59% | 29 |
| #7 | wex | 57% | 75 |
| #8 | Nayleev | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | camille | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaykae :) | 1008 | 0.31 | 28 min |
| #2 | virtue | 341 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Bogan | 316 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | wex | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | camille | 105 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zer9 | +3.53 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Jaykae :) | +2.30 | 69 | 75 |
| #3 | Bogan | +2.09 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | virtue | +1.80 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | Nayleev | +1.32 | 75 | 45 |





