








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 336 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1794 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1958 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1397 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2755 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1766 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $700,099 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | KennySnek | 46% | 13 |
| #9 | Sapiential | 45% | 56 |
| #10 | DEagleBarry | 44% | 57 |
| #11 | ❤️ ⭕⃤: | 44% | 57 |
| #12 | Barry | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DEagleBarry | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Sapiential | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Kald The Dullahan | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ❤️ ⭕⃤: | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Pog of Greed | 2 | 0.0024 |





