










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 495 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 153 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,195 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2544 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4894 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3612 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4145 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,309,996 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 467 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ #ToTal | 58% | 106 |
| #2 | d0nut | 57% | 121 |
| #3 | lwS | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | dErp | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | Cinco. | 48% | 240 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lwS | 51% | 69 |
| #4 | dErp | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | Cinco. | 48% | 240 |
| #6 | >Th[i]S< | 46% | 72 |
| #7 | issa | 44% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0nut | 24 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Cinco. | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | lwS | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | ✪ #ToTal | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | >Th[i]S< | 6 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | issa | 382 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | Cinco. | 375 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | lwS | 304 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #4 | d0nut | 299 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | dErp | 247 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0nut | +4.13 | 73 | 67 |
| #2 | lwS | +3.48 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | >Th[i]S< | +0.77 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | LEGO | +0.71 | 55 | 59 |
| #5 | issa | +0.43 | 63 | 65 |





