








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2872 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2969 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1536 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1652 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,204 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tripzzy | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | lavr | 48% | 29 |
| #3 | Bworis | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | rev | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Vuucs | 44% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | juvis | 44% | 34 |
| #7 | Frostijs | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | bubis | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Emens27 | 35% | 43 |
| #10 | revent | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vuucs | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Tripzzy | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | lavr | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | bubis | 2 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Emens27 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | juvis | 224 | 0.30 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vuucs | 169 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | rev | 106 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | lavr | 105 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #5 | revent | 49 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubis | +2.74 | 88 | 51 |
| #2 | Bworis | +1.66 | 54 | 60 |
| #3 | Emens27 | +0.22 | 60 | 48 |
| #4 | rev | -0.05 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | lavr | -0.17 | 66 | 75 |





