








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 345 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4909 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4693 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6251 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5984 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,203,995 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 844 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snap | 64% | 50 |
| #2 | N1ps | 60% | 47 |
| #3 | bop | 60% | 94 |
| #4 | Kyden | 58% | 48 |
| #5 | Aus_33 | 57% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | ✪ F3AR | 49% | 232 |
| #11 | Randy | 48% | 54 |
| #12 | Joker | 46% | 50 |
| #13 | LGTBQCentralCee | 45% | 47 |
| #14 | siN | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ F3AR | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | HENDO | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Randy | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | snap | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | bop | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hutch | 424 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | bop | 408 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Aus_33 | 271 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #4 | snap | 247 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #5 | MoN[24] | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snap | +5.51 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | Randy | +4.03 | 86 | 39 |
| #3 | bop | +3.17 | 85 | 68 |
| #4 | hutch | +2.59 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | N1ps | +2.57 | 80 | 59 |





