








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 680 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2926 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5380 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5176 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4009 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,078,082 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 453 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarah <3 | 53% | 96 |
| #2 | Skid | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | qKzy | 52% | 124 |
| #4 | Syync | 51% | 75 |
| #5 | SVL | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Syync | 51% | 75 |
| #5 | SVL | 50% | 56 |
| #6 | Cabbage | 43% | 46 |
| #7 | Jaanes :3 | 41% | 58 |
| #8 | IncRageEgert | 41% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qKzy | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Sarah <3 | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | IncRageEgert | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Jaanes :3 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Skid | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qKzy | 665 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sarah <3 | 275 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | Cabbage | 120 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | IncRageEgert | 110 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Syync | 106 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skid | +3.44 | 65 | 67 |
| #2 | Syync | +2.14 | 77 | 62 |
| #3 | SVL | +2.07 | 62 | 63 |
| #4 | qKzy | +0.87 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | IncRageEgert | +0.69 | 50 | 65 |





