








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 369 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 110 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,967 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1520 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1325 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2294 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $548,160 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not so s1mple | 54% | 127 |
| #2 | Don Tanel | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Juks | 51% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not so s1mple | 54% | 127 |
| #2 | Don Tanel | 52% | 58 |
| #3 | Juks | 51% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not so s1mple | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Juks | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Don Tanel | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | not so s1mple | 182 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Juks | 171 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Don Tanel | 54 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juks | +3.02 | 77 | 72 |
| #2 | Skid | +2.12 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | not so s1mple | +0.31 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | Don Tanel | -1.82 | 46 | 50 |





