








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1339 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1940 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1634 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1908 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,640 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRownie:) | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Tazyurid | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | Mystery 𓆩♡𓆪 | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Syync | 49% | 39 |
| #5 | SVL | 48% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tazyurid | 8 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | SVL | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Don Tanel | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | qKzy | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | bRownie:) | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SVL | 168 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | qKzy | 70 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cabbage | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Don Tanel | 62 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Syync | 55 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bRownie:) | +3.27 | 69 | 59 |
| #2 | SVL | +2.04 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | Harilik Palderjan | +1.40 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | IncRageEgert | +0.99 | 47 | 61 |
| #5 | Syync | +0.90 | 74 | 56 |





