








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2305 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1674 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,499 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 849 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J3llo Wit-A-Blick | 46% | 115 |
| #6 | kjiv | 42% | 99 |
| #7 | Kroeker | 38% | 98 |
| #8 | Rum-n-KrokE | 34% | 44 |
| #9 | TwiztedAgony | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | krause.percocet | 15 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | kjiv | 13 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | J3llo Wit-A-Blick | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | RageCum 469 | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Kroeker | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kjiv | 444 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kroeker | 408 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | J3llo Wit-A-Blick | 303 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | T҉A҉I҉N҉T҉ | 244 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | krause.percocet | 179 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kjiv | +1.06 | 62 | 56 |
| #2 | RageCum 469 | +0.99 | 76 | 43 |
| #3 | LilKrokE | +0.56 | 54 | 57 |
| #4 | Kroeker | +0.39 | 47 | 66 |
| #5 | krause.percocet | -0.34 | 71 | 41 |





