








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1835 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 807 | 13% |
| Smokes | 2082 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1342 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,057 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZenUno | 56% | 131 |
| #2 | felpantl | 47% | 183 |
| #3 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 46% | 184 |
| #4 | SoulStormBrewery | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | Camila Banana | 44% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SoulStormBrewery | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | Camila Banana | 44% | 107 |
| #6 | Zendos | 40% | 65 |
| #7 | James Bond | snowiie | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | Jonas | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felpantl | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Camila Banana | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Zendos | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ZenUno | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felpantl | 495 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | ZenUno | 260 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 212 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zendos | 168 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Camila Banana | 165 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZenUno | +4.35 | 75 | 71 |
| #2 | Zendos | +3.45 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | felpantl | +2.35 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Camila Banana | -0.55 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | H4NN3S | -1.45 | 36 | 40 |





