








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 44 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,067 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 14% |
| Smokes | 653 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 556 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 577 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $337,107 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Camila Banana | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Zendos | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Thomigun | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | felpantl | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | ZenUno | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Thomigun | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | felpantl | 49% | 87 |
| #5 | ZenUno | 48% | 23 |
| #6 | H4NN3S | 45% | 82 |
| #7 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 42% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felpantl | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | H4NN3S | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Camila Banana | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Zendos | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | felpantl | 223 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | H4NN3S | 84 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zendos | 51 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dirk Noschwitzki | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ZenUno | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZenUno | +6.57 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | Zendos | +4.15 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | felpantl | +2.95 | 78 | 66 |
| #4 | Camila Banana | -0.78 | 60 | 67 |
| #5 | H4NN3S | -1.61 | 37 | 42 |





