








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7757 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8233 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6948 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7157 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,157,938 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Parasiteee | 51% | 49 |
| #5 | No.Mercy^ | 50% | 106 |
| #6 | -ThExode - ✔ | 49% | 144 |
| #7 | Fardoche | 47% | 134 |
| #8 | TSB Phusiиg ツ | 47% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TSB Phusiиg ツ | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Scrye | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Fardoche | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | -ThExode - ✔ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | No.Mercy^ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ThExode - ✔ | 536 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | Fardoche | 406 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Scrye | 386 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | TSB Phusiиg ツ | 221 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | No.Mercy^ | 211 | 0.09 | 6 min |





