








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7580 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6993 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5214 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5968 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,277,865 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hsN | 54% | 71 |
| #2 | No.Mercy^ | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Parker | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | Vnc | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Scrye | 49% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | TenKKeys | 41% | 51 |
| #12 | GЯANo- | 41% | 64 |
| #13 | Fighta | 40% | 57 |
| #14 | sRob | 39% | 56 |
| #15 | Newt G | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | GЯANo- | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | sRob | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | hsN | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vnc | 483 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | chance | 344 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #3 | hsN | 302 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Loulou_le_Wiener | 296 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Parker | 232 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parker | +2.94 | 76 | 67 |
| #2 | hsN | +2.20 | 66 | 71 |
| #3 | chance | +2.15 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | sRob | +2.11 | 93 | 57 |
| #5 | Scrye | +1.57 | 69 | 59 |





