








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 272 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 989 | 35% |
| Smokes | 838 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 329 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 697 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,527 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | autismo | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | joof | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | hold that | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | Machew Peechew | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | TurdTickl3r | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TurdTickl3r | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Jerry | 50% | 40 |
| #7 | Auggy | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | Von | 45% | 47 |
| #9 | Kuroi | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Von | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | hold that | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | TurdTickl3r | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Auggy | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hold that | 234 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | TurdTickl3r | 223 | 0.40 | 6 min |
| #3 | Von | 115 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Auggy | 92 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | autismo | 60 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Auggy | +2.79 | 73 | 58 |
| #2 | autismo | +2.71 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | TurdTickl3r | +1.26 | 64 | 66 |
| #4 | hold that | +0.85 | 72 | 73 |
| #5 | Machew Peechew | +0.31 | 81 | 59 |





