








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 177 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1913 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2536 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1125 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1904 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,314 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurdTickl3r | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | meatwad | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | autismo | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | jamm | 51% | 169 |
| #5 | hold that | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | thpinal | 41% | 51 |
| #9 | Machew Peechew | 38% | 26 |
| #10 | Auggy | 35% | 17 |
| #11 | Von | 35% | 63 |
| #12 | Plinkerton | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jamm | 697 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | hold that | 510 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | autismo | 252 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #4 | Von | 238 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | thpinal | 172 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hold that | +2.13 | 74 | 73 |
| #2 | autismo | +1.82 | 70 | 65 |
| #3 | TurdTickl3r | +1.21 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | Machew Peechew | +0.75 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | jamm | +0.48 | 72 | 57 |





