








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 113 | 3% |
| Smokes | 1650 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 1097 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1126 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,852 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Mr. Alchemist | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Nobara Kugisaki | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | frankie | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | firemonarch | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nobara Kugisaki | 10 | 0.0309 |
| #2 | Asa Mitaka | 8 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | frankie | 8 | 0.0225 |
| #4 | firemonarch | 7 | 0.0127 |
| #5 | Mr. Alchemist | 7 | 0.0171 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asa Mitaka | 245 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | browngrl | 236 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | 高潮老爸 | 90 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Nobara Kugisaki | 70 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mr. Alchemist | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Alchemist | +5.44 | 62 | 65 |
| #2 | firemonarch | +3.75 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Hypnos_CrucI4L^ | +3.73 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | frankie | +2.56 | 86 | 50 |
| #5 | Wolf | +0.54 | 58 | 41 |





