








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1764 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 982 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 140 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




315 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,059 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10042 | 29% |
| Smokes | 11795 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 7938 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4284 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,062,445 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lebanon Blames | 58% | 90 |
| #2 | Crown | 57% | 191 |
| #3 | [PGA]marlboro | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | SeiSchlauWählBlau1888 | 51% | 55 |
| #5 | Jägermeister | 51% | 632 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jägermeister | 51% | 632 |
| #6 | [PGA] Waster | 50% | 96 |
| #7 | 𝕊𝔼𝟞 | 49% | 326 |
| #8 | Trump=God | 49% | 166 |
| #9 | Fisulino | 47% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jägermeister | 69 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Trump=God | 49 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Fisulino | 46 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | 𝕊𝔼𝟞 | 45 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Lebanon Blames | 15 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jägermeister | 800 | 0.06 | 20 min |
| #2 | Trump=God | 692 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | Crown | 646 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | 𝕊𝔼𝟞 | 340 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | Fisulino | 220 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Koko | +3.33 | 73 | 65 |
| #2 | Crown | +1.71 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | Lebanon Blames | +1.01 | 64 | 38 |
| #4 | Trump=God | +0.34 | 46 | 60 |
| #5 | [PGA] Waster | -0.38 | 63 | 61 |





