








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 400 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3586 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,216 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1468 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2568 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 1130 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 50 | 1% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,326,847 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 486 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapToon | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Dora the Explorer | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | DoubleU | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | MaDzilla | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Chr1ssyB | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapToon | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Dora the Explorer | 58% | 45 |
| #3 | DoubleU | 57% | 47 |
| #4 | MaDzilla | 55% | 31 |
| #5 | Chr1ssyB | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaDzilla | 109 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Dora the Explorer | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | CapToon | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Chr1ssyB | 24 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | DoubleU | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dora the Explorer | +1.43 | 71 | 53 |
| #2 | DoubleU | +1.41 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | Drasun | +1.34 | 79 | 43 |
| #4 | MaDzilla | +0.65 | 68 | 69 |
| #5 | CapToon | -0.97 | 54 | 57 |





