








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 327 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1458 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2009 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2247 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3532 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,098,054 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pastano | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | Chef Jeff | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | Stimulate | 53% | 38 |
| #4 | Ectoderm | 48% | 201 |
| #5 | Nulo | 48% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bahbgnarly | 47% | 216 |
| #7 | Rick James | 46% | 115 |
| #8 | Canaduh | 43% | 35 |
| #9 | h[0]ffa | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | Cat n Car lover | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 27 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | bahbgnarly | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Ectoderm | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Rick James | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Stimulate | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 621 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | bahbgnarly | 496 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Ectoderm | 425 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Chef Jeff | 267 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #5 | Rick James | 245 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bahbgnarly | +2.21 | 71 | 59 |
| #2 | pastano | +2.12 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Chef Jeff | +1.44 | 65 | 69 |
| #4 | Ectoderm | +1.03 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | Nulo | +0.76 | 72 | 65 |





