








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 513 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2256 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2771 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2411 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1828 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,422,918 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Jeff | 53% | 70 |
| #2 | pastano | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | LiveUrWays | 46% | 115 |
| #4 | bahbgnarly | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | Nulo | 42% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | bahbgnarly | 45% | 145 |
| #5 | Nulo | 42% | 203 |
| #6 | Canaduh | 41% | 27 |
| #7 | h[0]ffa | 41% | 54 |
| #8 | Ectoderm | 40% | 162 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | LiveUrWays | 11 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Ectoderm | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | bahbgnarly | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Canaduh | 4 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 577 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | Chef Jeff | 361 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| #3 | Ectoderm | 336 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | bahbgnarly | 305 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | LiveUrWays | 146 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pastano | +2.15 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | bahbgnarly | +1.97 | 73 | 58 |
| #3 | Chef Jeff | +1.39 | 62 | 71 |
| #4 | Ectoderm | +0.41 | 57 | 54 |
| #5 | Nulo | -0.18 | 69 | 64 |





