








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 536 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 128 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7640 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4249 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4076 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3523 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4546 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,010,253 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pastano | 52% | 50 |
| #2 | Chef Jeff | 52% | 62 |
| #3 | Canaduh | 51% | 70 |
| #4 | Stimulate | 49% | 98 |
| #5 | Nulo | 47% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nulo | 47% | 254 |
| #6 | LiveUrWays | 47% | 216 |
| #7 | Ectoderm | 47% | 221 |
| #8 | h[0]ffa | 46% | 188 |
| #9 | Rick James | 45% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 33 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | LiveUrWays | 28 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Ectoderm | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Rick James | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Canaduh | 9 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nulo | 646 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | Ectoderm | 455 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Chef Jeff | 337 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #4 | Rick James | 307 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | h[0]ffa | 294 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pastano | +2.39 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | Chef Jeff | +2.31 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | bahbgnarly | +1.98 | 73 | 58 |
| #4 | Ectoderm | +0.63 | 57 | 57 |
| #5 | Nulo | -0.12 | 71 | 64 |





