








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1635 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1537 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2531 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1794 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,006,047 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Jeff | 51% | 67 |
| #2 | Canaduh | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | bahbgnarly | 46% | 188 |
| #4 | pastano | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Nulo | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Nulo | 43% | 74 |
| #6 | LiveUrWays | 42% | 76 |
| #7 | Ectoderm | 42% | 62 |
| #8 | Stimulate | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | Rick James | 41% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bahbgnarly | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | LiveUrWays | 8 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Nulo | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Rick James | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Ectoderm | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bahbgnarly | 426 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Chef Jeff | 407 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #3 | Nulo | 165 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ectoderm | 148 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rick James | 121 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chef Jeff | +2.56 | 65 | 68 |
| #2 | bahbgnarly | +1.86 | 69 | 58 |
| #3 | pastano | +1.61 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Ectoderm | +0.79 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | Nulo | -0.16 | 68 | 64 |





