








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 80 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2346 | 50% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 356 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 732 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,237 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paintball4151617181 | 51% | 57 |
| #2 | CeeeeeeJ | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | P_moT | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Aer1al | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Yami | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CeeeeeeJ | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | P_moT | 38% | 13 |
| #4 | Aer1al | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | Yami | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | jww | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paintball4151617181 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Aer1al | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | CeeeeeeJ | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Yami | 1 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paintball4151617181 | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | jww | 88 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yami | 41 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #4 | Aer1al | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | CeeeeeeJ | 23 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P_moT | +2.68 | 78 | 44 |
| #2 | MAINESTREAM | +1.59 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | Yami | +0.99 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | CeeeeeeJ | +0.69 | 81 | 63 |
| #5 | jww | -0.03 | 73 | 70 |





