








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 520 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 182 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4067 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3317 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5211 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4834 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2032 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,241,774 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NOOT NOOT MF | 55% | 58 |
| #2 | omagad | 50% | 262 |
| #3 | awé | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | bhounz | 48% | 286 |
| #5 | chokbar de bz | 47% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | awé | 50% | 62 |
| #4 | bhounz | 48% | 286 |
| #5 | chokbar de bz | 47% | 142 |
| #6 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 44% | 174 |
| #7 | HyD | 44% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chokbar de bz | 39 | 0.0129 |
| #2 | omagad | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | bhounz | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | HyD | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 6 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bhounz | 633 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | chokbar de bz | 602 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | omagad | 439 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #4 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 287 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | HyD | 158 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chokbar de bz | +1.54 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | bhounz | +1.48 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | HyD | +1.18 | 91 | 63 |
| #4 | Childs play | -0.22 | 53 | 57 |
| #5 | omagad | -0.55 | 62 | 68 |





