








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 393 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2490 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2753 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2249 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,354,132 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >AdM< | 60% | 57 |
| #2 | omagad | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Krang | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Childs play | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Rob's | 49% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | omagad | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | Krang | 51% | 39 |
| #4 | Childs play | 50% | 62 |
| #5 | Rob's | 49% | 61 |
| #6 | bhounz | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Childs play | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | >AdM< | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Rob's | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | bhounz | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | omagad | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Childs play | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | bhounz | 85 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | omagad | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | >AdM< | 37 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Krang | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bhounz | +1.55 | 46 | 55 |
| #2 | awé | +1.44 | 55 | 55 |
| #3 | Childs play | +1.18 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | Krang | +0.64 | 41 | 38 |
| #5 | omagad | -0.46 | 65 | 67 |





