








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2404 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2925 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2788 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3058 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1516 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,672 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omagad | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | Childs play | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | bhounz | 44% | 87 |
| #4 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 35% | 65 |
| #5 | chokbar de bz | 33% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | omagad | 51% | 101 |
| #2 | Childs play | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | bhounz | 44% | 87 |
| #4 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 35% | 65 |
| #5 | chokbar de bz | 33% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chokbar de bz | 9 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | omagad | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Childs play | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | bhounz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bhounz | 164 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | chokbar de bz | 151 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | omagad | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kébab Sauce Blanche | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Childs play | 62 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chokbar de bz | +1.20 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | HyD | +1.17 | 85 | 63 |
| #3 | bhounz | +0.78 | 65 | 63 |
| #4 | omagad | -0.60 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | Childs play | -1.13 | 54 | 55 |





