








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2427 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1721 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1991 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1916 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $643,386 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commander_Cock | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 58% | 74 |
| #3 | alex | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | honeY_CJ | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | 50% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 58% | 74 |
| #3 | alex | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | honeY_CJ | 50% | 48 |
| #5 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | 50% | 213 |
| #6 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 45% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | honeY_CJ | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | alex | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | 329 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 219 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 156 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | honeY_CJ | 69 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | alex | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | +2.43 | 59 | 66 |
| #2 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | +1.75 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | Commander_Cock | +0.67 | 77 | 19 |
| #4 | alex | -0.41 | 57 | 46 |
| #5 | Rdy.2-Rumble | -0.78 | 57 | 60 |





