








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 323 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2334 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2668 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2529 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,496,873 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Commander_Cock | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | alex | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 52% | 125 |
| #4 | Rdy.2-Rumble | 50% | 213 |
| #5 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 44% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | alex | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 52% | 125 |
| #4 | Rdy.2-Rumble | 50% | 213 |
| #5 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 44% | 148 |
| #6 | honeY_CJ | 43% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rdy.2-Rumble | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | alex | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | honeY_CJ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rdy.2-Rumble | 736 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | roodborstje <3 Tulips | 399 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | 265 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | honeY_CJ | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | alex | 72 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skywal - Oga Foroga | +2.28 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | Broken Ballerina Dunny | +1.33 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Commander_Cock | +0.55 | 81 | 24 |
| #4 | alex | -0.42 | 55 | 50 |
| #5 | Rdy.2-Rumble | -0.85 | 57 | 60 |





