








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 588 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2929 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5615 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5288 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 5079 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,555,602 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 308 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrewツ | 58% | 57 |
| #2 | Beleaua | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | rRs2k24 | 49% | 109 |
| #4 | El Coyote Mehicano | 48% | 427 |
| #5 | Filozofu' | 44% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Filozofu' | 44% | 82 |
| #6 | Cioara greu deucis | 43% | 84 |
| #7 | Rizu aka Dandalaian | 42% | 67 |
| #8 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 41% | 61 |
| #9 | DED | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Coyote Mehicano | 22 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Cioara greu deucis | 19 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Andrewツ | 12 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | rRs2k24 | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Beleaua | 5 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Coyote Mehicano | 679 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #2 | rRs2k24 | 515 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 263 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Cioara greu deucis | 140 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Andrewツ | 138 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cioara greu deucis | +2.38 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | +1.87 | 69 | 77 |
| #3 | Andrewツ | +1.80 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | El Coyote Mehicano | +1.37 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | Beleaua | +0.60 | 62 | 49 |





