








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1041 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 802 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4791 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2914 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4693 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3756 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,490,893 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 821 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrewツ | 54% | 115 |
| #2 | tnk° | 51% | 49 |
| #3 | rRs2k24 | 49% | 102 |
| #4 | Filozofu' | 49% | 94 |
| #5 | Cioara greu deucis | 49% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | rRs2k24 | 49% | 102 |
| #4 | Filozofu' | 49% | 94 |
| #5 | Cioara greu deucis | 49% | 176 |
| #6 | sofer pe deagle | 48% | 427 |
| #7 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 43% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cioara greu deucis | 49 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Andrewツ | 21 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | sofer pe deagle | 15 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | tnk° | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | rRs2k24 | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sofer pe deagle | 599 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | rRs2k24 | 572 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #3 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 367 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | Cioara greu deucis | 342 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #5 | tnk° | 316 | 0.30 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tnk° | +3.44 | 70 | 83 |
| #2 | Cioara greu deucis | +1.52 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | Andrewツ | +0.87 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | El Coyote Mehicano | +0.73 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | +0.64 | 67 | 78 |





