








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1653 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1049 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1418 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1334 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,827 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrewツ | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Jerry | 59% | 70 |
| #3 | El Coyote Mehicano | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | Cioara greu deucis | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | sofer pe deagle | 44% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jerry | 59% | 70 |
| #3 | El Coyote Mehicano | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | Cioara greu deucis | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | sofer pe deagle | 44% | 82 |
| #6 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sofer pe deagle | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Cioara greu deucis | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Jerry | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Andrewツ | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | El Coyote Mehicano | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerry | 251 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | El Coyote Mehicano | 164 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | sofer pe deagle | 122 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cioara greu deucis | 65 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | 61 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andrewツ | +2.60 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | Cioara greu deucis | +2.38 | 76 | 45 |
| #3 | 𝗳𝗹𝟬𝗳. | +1.80 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | El Coyote Mehicano | +1.52 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | Jerry | +0.66 | 58 | 53 |





