








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2696 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1051 | 23% |
| Smokes | 907 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1487 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1143 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,499 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boid | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | macaroniez | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | Stratos | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | t | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | torjebosen | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Stratos | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | t | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | torjebosen | 47% | 17 |
| #6 | Kelp | 44% | 75 |
| #7 | KattenKuma | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KattenKuma | 22 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | boid | 9 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Kelp | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | torjebosen | 3 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stratos | 171 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #2 | KattenKuma | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | boid | 110 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Kelp | 108 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | macaroniez | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stratos | +6.70 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | boid | +3.13 | 67 | 49 |
| #3 | t | +1.48 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | torjebosen | +0.86 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Potato | +0.39 | 53 | 35 |





