








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1311 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,834 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1100 | 29% |
| Smokes | 822 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 966 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $653,995 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ld | 54% | 37 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 49% | 158 |
| #3 | Asrii | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | lost id | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | ♡ | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lost id | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | ♡ | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | Bad Booty Grapes | 38% | 16 |
| #7 | Pudahtsh Ihtaan | 36% | 33 |
| #8 | VorLo | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asrii | 19 | 0.0544 |
| #2 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | VorLo | 8 | 0.0364 |
| #4 | Ld | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | Pudahtsh Ihtaan | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SadPeepoJuicebox | 422 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | Ld | 200 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pudahtsh Ihtaan | 136 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Asrii | 75 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | lost id | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asrii | +4.46 | 77 | 38 |
| #2 | ♡ | +3.00 | 78 | 30 |
| #3 | VorLo | +2.32 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | SadPeepoJuicebox | +2.05 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Ld | +0.64 | 33 | 68 |





