








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 885 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3637 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2654 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3049 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2976 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,778 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DavisWai | 62% | 100 |
| #2 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 61% | 171 |
| #3 | Lok2 | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | 鳴子しょうきち | 59% | 116 |
| #5 | CrossJai2 | 58% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BonoZzz | 57% | 187 |
| #8 | OctaviusKH | 53% | 51 |
| #9 | Ice-Cream Man | 47% | 34 |
| #10 | KAGA | 44% | 16 |
| #11 | 咁係因為你悲觀 | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | 鳴子しょうきち | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | CrossJai2 | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | DavisWai | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | BonoZzz | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BonoZzz | 618 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | 鳴子しょうきち | 381 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | 379 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | CrossJai2 | 225 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | OctaviusKH | 174 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 小野田さかみち. | +4.76 | 86 | 63 |
| #2 | 鳴子しょうきち | +2.76 | 64 | 64 |
| #3 | Hasta La Vista, Baby | +1.51 | 33 | 40 |
| #4 | BonoZzz | +0.84 | 62 | 67 |
| #5 | CrossJai2 | -0.12 | 68 | 57 |





