








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2181 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1369 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1317 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2177 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,119 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heckster | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Sev | 74% | 92 |
| #3 | mjc | 74% | 34 |
| #4 | Zeus2k | 72% | 29 |
| #5 | fowl | 72% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | WyLdxNoVa | 62% | 29 |
| #8 | eZ | 62% | 47 |
| #9 | CAJUN | 59% | 27 |
| #10 | [B]ennyS | 58% | 77 |
| #11 | Snow Quack | 50% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | CAJUN | 11 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | fowl | 9 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Zeus2k | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | ako | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 582 | 0.34 | 15 min |
| #2 | [B]ennyS | 248 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | ako | 203 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | fowl | 200 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | CAJUN | 178 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | +2.91 | 85 | 74 |
| #2 | ako | +2.52 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | eZ | +2.38 | 82 | 66 |
| #4 | chrome hearts con | +1.95 | 70 | 50 |
| #5 | Sev | +1.90 | 81 | 68 |





