








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4597 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4255 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3081 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3285 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $917,219 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 959 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CAJUN | 84% | 25 |
| #2 | WyLdxNoVa | 76% | 91 |
| #3 | zA | 72% | 32 |
| #4 | fowl | 72% | 170 |
| #5 | ClUtCHirl | 71% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | mjc | 60% | 87 |
| #12 | Banana Gripper | 59% | 32 |
| #13 | Snow Quack | 59% | 120 |
| #14 | eZ | 59% | 44 |
| #15 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 31 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | fowl | 19 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | chrome hearts con | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | WyLdxNoVa | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | [B]ennyS | 8 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 1200 | 0.26 | 31 min |
| #2 | WyLdxNoVa | 498 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #3 | fowl | 415 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | [B]ennyS | 327 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Snow Quack | 232 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | +4.46 | 90 | 77 |
| #2 | CAJUN | +3.69 | 78 | 83 |
| #3 | Sev | +2.56 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Zeus2k | +2.17 | 90 | 71 |
| #5 | ClUtCHirl | +2.03 | 74 | 62 |





