








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 472 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,284 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3300 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2440 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2963 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4581 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,593,159 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 418 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeus2k | 65% | 154 |
| #2 | mjc | 64% | 293 |
| #3 | Sev | 62% | 445 |
| #4 | fowl | 61% | 251 |
| #5 | zA | 61% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | monsyera | 60% | 85 |
| #8 | ako | 59% | 120 |
| #9 | [B]ennyS | 57% | 218 |
| #10 | chrome hearts con | 50% | 46 |
| #11 | Dead Ahh Goofy Ahh | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Zeus2k | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | fowl | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | [B]ennyS | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | chrome hearts con | 8 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sev | 2350 | 0.27 | 63 min |
| #2 | fowl | 718 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #3 | mjc | 713 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #4 | Zeus2k | 686 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #5 | [B]ennyS | 588 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WyLdxNoVa | +3.64 | 90 | 79 |
| #2 | Zeus2k | +2.82 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | Sev | +2.33 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | mjc | +2.13 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | chrome hearts con | +1.40 | 68 | 51 |





