








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3777 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3440 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3198 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2819 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3200 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $998,137 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 194 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wampa | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | Knif3 | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Kahse | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | WhazUpII | 51% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Kahse | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | WhazUpII | 51% | 59 |
| #6 | cr0uch | 50% | 44 |
| #7 | cabo | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhazUpII | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | cr0uch | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Kahse | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0uch | 171 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Knif3 | 113 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | WhazUpII | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kahse | 97 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wampa | +2.83 | 86 | 53 |
| #2 | Knif3 | +2.11 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | herbal | +0.96 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | jklolnoobster3000 | +0.88 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | cr0uch | -0.94 | 62 | 66 |





