








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2893 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3259 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4010 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,361 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0uch | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | citrus- | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | herbal | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | Kahse | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0uch | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | citrus- | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 55% | 51 |
| #4 | herbal | 51% | 59 |
| #5 | Kahse | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0uch | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | jklolnoobster3000 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | citrus- | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0uch | 218 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | herbal | 183 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | jklolnoobster3000 | 178 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kahse | 85 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | citrus- | 52 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | herbal | +1.84 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | jklolnoobster3000 | +1.57 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | cr0uch | +0.85 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | citrus- | -0.44 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | WhazUpII | -0.82 | 63 | 60 |





