








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 349 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4773 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5086 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4664 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4278 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,830 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 89 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouija | 63% | 102 |
| #2 | Spieg | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | sirris | 53% | 92 |
| #4 | devvolve | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 50% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spieg | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | sirris | 53% | 92 |
| #4 | devvolve | 51% | 78 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 50% | 123 |
| #6 | herbal | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 12 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Ouija | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | devvolve | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | sirris | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Spieg | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ouija | 473 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | devvolve | 250 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 224 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Spieg | 220 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | sirris | 190 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sirris | +2.34 | 82 | 52 |
| #2 | Ouija | +1.96 | 64 | 78 |
| #3 | herbal | +1.29 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | cabo | +0.03 | 67 | 62 |
| #5 | devvolve | -0.40 | 63 | 47 |





