










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 378 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1579 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 888 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 937 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,406,008 of utility $315 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | zinexinho | 50% | 16 |
| #9 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 46% | 46 |
| #10 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | 44% | 18 |
| #11 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 42% | 118 |
| #12 | ca1im3ro™© | 38% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ca1im3ro™© | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | .#TašтY | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | zinexinho | 2 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 249 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Michael Santos | 150 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 146 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | .#TašтY | 108 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | 77 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | +2.57 | 62 | 74 |
| #2 | .#TašтY | +2.53 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | ⓥⓔⓝⓔⓧ #1noScope | +2.11 | 60 | 77 |
| #4 | ³ Mudschahedin | +1.42 | 43 | 69 |
| #5 | ca1im3ro™© | +0.67 | 74 | 60 |





