








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 757 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1255 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1699 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1551 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $995,064 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zivo46™ | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | Michael Santos | 50% | 14 |
| #3 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 46% | 102 |
| #4 | Revilo | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Zivo46™ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | .#TašтY | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Revilo | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | 223 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | 166 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | .#TašтY | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Michael Santos | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zivo46™ | 25 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .#TašтY | +1.17 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | |-|34|)$|-|[]']['™© | +0.65 | 65 | 71 |
| #3 | ca1im3ro™© | +0.61 | 79 | 56 |
| #4 | ³ ch𝖊𝖊ky bastard | -0.38 | 50 | 65 |
| #5 | Revilo | -0.64 | 60 | 63 |





