








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 239 matches | ||
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4615 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3499 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2213 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2891 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,591 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Russian | 73% | 22 |
| #2 | FATGUY | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | snufaffu | 64% | 47 |
| #4 | LightPat | 61% | 18 |
| #5 | Trick | 60% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | voltage | 48% | 113 |
| #12 | kush | kickback.com | 46% | 65 |
| #13 | Banss | 41% | 71 |
| #14 | DacS ツ | 35% | 46 |
| #15 | Swenkii | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snufaffu | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | ogura | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | voltage | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | FATGUY | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | LightPat | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Banss | 454 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #2 | kush | kickback.com | 351 | 0.25 | 10 min |
| #3 | voltage | 323 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✪STIKER | 309 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | DacS ツ | 199 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snufaffu | +2.59 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | FATGUY | +1.86 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | Russian | +1.60 | 85 | 65 |
| #4 | Goodbye | +1.56 | 79 | 65 |
| #5 | TrueRedux | +0.82 | 81 | 59 |





