








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,063 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1513 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1535 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2321 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2694 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,034,543 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 167 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZAK | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | Grimlock [M] | 65% | 104 |
| #3 | ogura | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | Goodbye | 64% | 47 |
| #5 | Ryan Bowler (true) | 63% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt [M] | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Buju | 12 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | ogura | 10 | 0.0132 |
| #4 | ill chell hehe | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ZAK | 5 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matt [M] | 946 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | ill chell hehe | 264 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Goodbye | 226 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #4 | Buju | 217 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Grimlock [M] | 200 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snufaffu | +4.70 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | Buju | +4.25 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | Goodbye | +1.64 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | Grimlock [M] | +0.25 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | ill chell hehe | -0.42 | 61 | 62 |





