








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,374 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2294 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1976 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2243 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1861 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,111,927 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohaNzzo | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Tiny ♥ | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | SYL | 52% | 58 |
| #4 | putz | 50% | 195 |
| #5 | Selver Elite | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Selver Elite | 49% | 150 |
| #6 | ✪ Hidden. | 46% | 140 |
| #7 | {L}uck.- | 46% | 127 |
| #8 | ហេMMoll | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | ✪ Feam ツ | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {L}uck.- | 14 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Selver Elite | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | putz | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | ✪ Hidden. | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | SYL | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | putz | 664 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | {L}uck.- | 590 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Selver Elite | 400 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | ✪ Hidden. | 365 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | SYL | 147 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JohaNzzo | +1.84 | 79 | 51 |
| #2 | SYL | +1.38 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | ✪ punkt. ツ | +0.68 | 61 | 60 |
| #4 | Selver Elite | +0.64 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | {L}uck.- | +0.03 | 69 | 66 |





