








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 869 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4403 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3277 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3293 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2104 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,607 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2350 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selver Elite | 51% | 104 |
| #2 | ✪ punkt. ツ | 50% | 195 |
| #3 | ✪ Hidden. | 50% | 101 |
| #4 | {L}uck.- | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | SYL | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Selver Elite | 51% | 104 |
| #2 | ✪ punkt. ツ | 50% | 195 |
| #3 | ✪ Hidden. | 50% | 101 |
| #4 | {L}uck.- | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | SYL | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ punkt. ツ | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | {L}uck.- | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Selver Elite | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ✪ Hidden. | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | {L}uck.- | 201 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Selver Elite | 156 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ✪ Hidden. | 142 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ punkt. ツ | 112 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | SYL | 26 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SYL | +1.55 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪ punkt. ツ | +0.44 | 62 | 61 |
| #3 | Selver Elite | +0.37 | 54 | 66 |
| #4 | {L}uck.- | -0.13 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | ✪ Hidden. | -0.22 | 59 | 70 |





